Most people would rather stand in the paralyzing feeling of “I am going to die” – that familiar breath-crushing, heart-pounding, knee-locking fear – than to take unknown, uncomfortable action. Even a teeny bit of action.
When you are certain you are about to die, that is when you MUST step right through that “doorway to death.” It will lead you to an extraordinary opportunity to have the life we always say we really, really want. You will get there by being willing to do whatever it takes – including the non-sexy stuff that most people won’t do – and you will then realize what you are truly made of.
Often people stall because they think something is “too much work” and they can’t get a guarantee that they won’t look stupid, be the laughingstock, fall flat on their face or, the worst human fear, get rejected. They convince themselves they are going to die and are frozen in fear, or they tell themselves “I don’t have enough X to get started.” Yes, that is true sometimes – but in my experience, it is a cop out.
My favorite quote from the movie “We Bought a Zoo,” captures the spirit: “All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage.” You must be willing to move through the “I’m going to die” to get on the millionaire-mindset playing field. And when (not if) you make it to the field, you have to do the work to get to the goal.
Every excuse and chronic pain drags you back into the misery, causing you to distrust consistency and stall, whether you mean to or not.
Whether it is public speaking, leading a client meeting, taking over leadership of your team, doing marketing that you have never done before or making a cold call to get past the gatekeepers, too often the tasks that people consider unpleasant leave them feeling like they are going to die.
And that is when they quit.
You’re not going to die. You’re just going to gain many great new tools on your journey. You will find that if you have unrelenting consistency, what you say you really want will appear. You just have to get over what stops you.
That’s when accountability comes in. I’ve never read a success story that didn’t include some version of an accountability cop – a coach, consultant or mentor. Not one. Every single successful entrepreneur, athlete, musician and death’s door comeback had an accountability partner pushing the person past the “I’m going to die” phase.
The demands of the professional world are becoming more and more rigorous. From challenging projects to unclear expectations to harsh deadlines, you may feel you’re fighting an uphill battle. When work takes this turn, your mindset changes, becoming a burden instead of a passion. This leads to roadblocks, stalled-out progress and inability to grow and increase your profits. And then “I can’t do this” rears its distressing head.
Having someone in your corner, who can provide guidance throughout your growth can ease the stress we are all so desperately feeling.
Essentially, the point to be made is: Everyone NEEDS an accountability cop. This is not a “luxury.”
The life you want depends on it.
Couple that with not knowing how to ASK FOR HELP and you have the perfect recipe for stalled-out success. Here are three steps to get you what you need right now.
- Find a Coach.Look for someone you respect who makes you feel safe, yet challenged. In your initial call, you should feel excited, yet scared – but not threatened. The coach must have skills and knowledge in your field of interest. Don’t just settle for anyone; choose someone who wants to invest time in you and see your personal and professional growth.
- Relationship.You must be able to connect with this person. You should choose someone who, at the end of your session, leaves you wishing you had two more hours, because you can’t get enough of the perspective, wisdom, cadence and tonality. Your coach gives you what you want out of the relationship, and vice versa. This agreement should be the foundation of your relationship – and you need an excellent foundation to succeed. Make sure you are being open about the successes and challenges you are dealing with; vulnerability is crucial, because without it, your coach will not be able to provide insight into your life.
- Action.You must end each session with clear, deadline-driven action items – otherwise you just hired a cheerleader. Your coach should never let you off the call without specific action items that you will accomplish between sessions. Action is the No. 1 secret to success in any area of life. “One small step at a time,” “emotions in motion” and “one foot in front of the other” are not just cliches because they sound good. The secret to overcoming fear and anxiety is action.
Striving for success means allowing others to invest in your life. Pursue a mentorship not because you want it but because you need it! If you aren’t sure where to start in selecting a mentor, email us at info@hiringandempowering.com and we will connect you with a coach in your area who fits your goals and needs.
Molly Hall
