Come to Jesus meetings often seem like the go-to fix when tensions rise at law firms, but they rarely solve real workplace problems. Week after week, I hear from law firm leaders, team members, and administrators who are on the verge of boiling over. They’ve hit their limit with an employee, boss, or colleague, and their first instinct is to schedule a dramatic confrontation.
At first glance, it makes sense. A come to Jesus meeting feels like a powerful intervention—a decisive moment to confront the issue head-on. (I know this from experience. I’ve had plenty of these moments, usually pacing outside my boss’s office or ambushing him in the hallway.)
But here’s what I’ve learned: I’m not Jesus, and I don’t perform miracles. Come to Jesus meetings rarely work in the long term. They’re more about venting than resolving. They offer a short burst of compliance, not meaningful, sustainable change.
Come to Jesus Meetings Feel Powerful—But Only Temporarily
I once worked with a law firm owner who was livid about an employee’s ongoing absences. Frustrated and overwhelmed, he called her into his office for a come to Jesus meeting. His message was clear: improve immediately, or you’re out.
This strategy is common because it feels like a release. You finally get to “drop the hammer,” lay down the law, and demand accountability. It feels like progress.
But it isn’t.
What really happens is fear-based motivation. The person on the receiving end might shape up for a week, maybe a month, but nothing is actually solved. The situation that created the problem is still there. You’ve just slapped a temporary fix on a deeper issue.
Come to Jesus Meetings: The Root Cause of Workplace Problems Is Rarely Addressed
As we talked further, my client admitted that the employee wasn’t trying to be irresponsible. Quite the opposite. She was a dedicated, intelligent professional who had recently been promoted from receptionist to Client Services Coordinator. She was also juggling full-time university classes and running an online business. She didn’t lack motivation—she lacked capacity.
She was burning the candle at both ends. The stress, exhaustion, and guilt of trying to do it all were taking a toll on her physical and mental health. Her absences were a result of genuine burnout.
After the come to Jesus meeting, she pulled herself together—for a while. Not because her situation improved, but because she was scared. Scared of disappointing her boss, scared of losing her job, and probably scared of losing control of everything she was trying to juggle.
But fear only takes you so far. Eventually, it fades. And once it does, people go right back to the behaviours that led to the problem in the first place.
The 60-Day Rule: Why Fear-Based Change Doesn’t Stick
This is something I’ve observed over and over: come-to-Jesus meetings generate behaviour changes that typically last around 60 days. That’s because fear is not a foundation for sustainable improvement. It’s a temporary motivator at best—and a toxic one at worst.
What actually works? Identifying the root cause of the problem and addressing it with structure, support, and skill development. In my client’s case, his employee didn’t need a threat. She needed training on how to manage her responsibilities, prioritise tasks, and communicate when she was overwhelmed.
Come to Jesus Meetings: Teach the Skills—Don’t Just Demand the Outcome
This is a huge leadership blind spot, especially in law firms. Many leaders are excellent lawyers but were never taught how to be effective managers or mentors. They know how to get results, so they assume everyone else should just figure it out the same way they did.
However, not everyone has the same experience, personality, or tools. When you take the time to teach your team how to manage their work—rather than just demanding that they do it—you unlock a completely different level of performance.
A quick reminder to firm leaders: Yes, it’s often faster to jump in and do the task yourself. But that’s a short-term win and a long-term failure. If you’re constantly rescuing your team, they’ll never develop the competence or confidence to lead themselves.
Come to Jesus Meetings Miss the Point
If you’re constantly having to “set people straight,” your firm doesn’t have a people problem—it has a leadership development gap. Relying on confrontation and fear creates a cycle where everyone stays reactive. Your team won’t grow, and neither will your business.
Instead of asking, “How can I make them fear the consequences?” ask, “What skills are missing here? What systems or supports would actually help them succeed?”
Real Change Starts With Root-Cause Solutions
Before you plan your next come-to-Jesus meeting, take a step back and reflect. What’s the real issue? Are there training gaps? Communication problems? Are unrealistic expectations or unclear job roles part of the issue?
You’ll often find that the problem isn’t about attitude—it’s about capacity. It’s about misaligned roles, inadequate support, or a team member trying to do too much without the tools to succeed.
The fix isn’t intimidation. It’s education, empowerment, and systems that work.
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Written by Molly Hall McGrath