If you’ve been struggling with permission barriers, you’re not alone. These unseen obstacles often manifest as emotional and psychological blocks, holding us back from reaching our full potential. Addressing them is not just about recognizing their presence but also understanding how they affect us and taking actionable steps to overcome them.
Permission barriers can feel like an invisible force that stops you in your tracks, even when opportunities for growth are right in front of you. Let’s explore the most common patterns that block permission, learn how they operate, and uncover strategies to break free from their grip.
What Are Permission Barriers?
Permission barriers are emotional and behavioral patterns that prevent us from giving ourselves the freedom to grow, evolve, and succeed. These barriers often stem from internalized beliefs, societal pressures, and past experiences. They can keep us in a state of inaction, self-doubt, or fear, making it difficult to take steps toward achieving our goals.
By identifying these barriers, we gain the power to stop them from dictating our choices and begin to chart a new path forward.
Identifying Common Permission Barriers
1. Guilt as a Permission Barrier
Guilt creates a persistent narrative of “shoulds” in our minds:
- I should be spending more time with my kids.
- I should have reached out to that friend.
While guilt often comes from a good place—like wanting to do right by others—it can become a toxic cycle when left unchecked. This corrosive stress distracts us from the present, making it harder to focus on what truly matters.
Overcoming Guilt:
Start by acknowledging that you can’t do everything perfectly. Instead of focusing on what you haven’t done, celebrate what you have achieved. Shift your mindset to one of gratitude and self-compassion.
2. Shame: A Silent Permission Barrier
Unlike guilt, which focuses on actions, shame attacks your identity. It convinces you that you’re inherently flawed or unworthy, which can lead to feelings of isolation and inadequacy. Shame is particularly damaging because it’s often unspoken, festering silently in our minds.
Overcoming Shame:
Shame loses its power when exposed. Share your feelings with trusted friends, mentors, or a therapist. Building connections with others can help you see your value and dismantle shame’s hold on your self-worth.
3. Fear Creates Permission Barriers
Fear stems from uncertainty, past experiences, or conditioning. Phrases like “What if I fail?” or “I’m not good enough” often reflect deeper fears of rejection or inadequacy. For many, fear is amplified by childhood warnings or experiences, such as overly cautious parenting.
Overcoming Fear:
Start by reframing fear as a signal for growth. Instead of avoiding what scares you, approach it with curiosity. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? More often than not, the worst-case scenario is far less dire than we imagine.
4. Approval-Seeking as a Permission Barrier
Seeking approval from others can feel reassuring, but over-reliance on external validation erodes self-trust. Constantly soliciting opinions and advice can leave you paralyzed, unable to make decisions confidently.
Overcoming Approval-Seeking:
Practice making small decisions on your own without consulting others. Over time, this will help you rebuild trust in your instincts and reduce the need for external validation.
5. Comparisons and Assumptions as Permission Barriers
Social media has made it easier than ever to compare ourselves to others. We often assume others are happier, more successful, or more fulfilled based on curated snapshots of their lives. These comparisons create a false narrative that something is wrong with us.
Overcoming Comparisons:
Remember that social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Focus on your unique journey, and measure your success based on your personal goals, not someone else’s.
6. Feeling Unworthy Blocks Permission
The thought, “Who am I to pursue this?” stops many people before they even start. This feeling of unworthiness can stem from past failures, societal messaging, or personal insecurities.
Overcoming Unworthiness:
Recognize that everyone starts somewhere. Focus on your strengths and remind yourself of past successes. Affirmations and positive self-talk can help reframe your mindset.
7. Avoidance and Numbing as Permission Barriers
Avoidance behaviors—such as procrastinating, overeating, or excessive screen time—often arise when we fear failure or discomfort. Numbing, on the other hand, involves suppressing emotions through distractions, making it harder to face challenges head-on.
Overcoming Avoidance and Numbing:
Address avoidance by breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps. For numbing behaviors, practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and engage with your emotions rather than suppressing them.
8. Deflecting: A Subtle Permission Barrier
Deflecting often shows up in conversations when we want to avoid discomfort. Phrases like “It’s not that important” or “I don’t care” are common examples. These statements diminish the importance of your feelings and choices.
Overcoming Deflection:
Speak with intention and authenticity. Instead of downplaying your feelings, own them. This builds confidence and strengthens your sense of self.
9. Attachment to Outcomes as a Permission Barrier
When we cling to specific expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Life is unpredictable, and rigid attachment to how things “should” be can create unnecessary stress.
Overcoming Attachment:
Practice flexibility and open-mindedness. Embrace the idea that the journey matters more than the destination.
Breaking Free from Permission Barrier
Awareness is the first step to breaking free. By identifying these patterns, you can start to challenge their influence and reclaim your personal power. Over time, you’ll find that giving yourself permission leads to greater authenticity, confidence, and fulfillment.
Need Help Empowering Your Team?
If your organization struggles with permission barriers, we can help! Our Smart Hire Solution ensures you have the right people in the right seats, fostering a culture of empowerment and growth.
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Authored by Molly Hall McGrath
