I remember vividly the day my boss called me into his office for a “talk” about my phone skills, marking the beginning of my journey into empowering conversations. As a receptionist for about five months, I was accustomed to my boss dashing past me in the mornings, rushing to meetings, and still working long after I left at 5 PM. The thought of a one-on-one conversation with him terrified me. I soon realized he wanted to discuss what I now understand were my poor phone skills.
Interestingly, this conversation remains one of the most powerful experiences of my life, even fifteen years later. Rather than the expected reprimand for my phone etiquette, he explained that we were an estate planning law firm. At twenty-one, new to the job, the concept of estate planning meant little to me. However, he made it relevant. He shared how many callers might have recently lost a loved one or were dealing with a sick family member.
He explained that when I answered the phone, I could be the first person a woman grieving the loss of her husband of fifty years spoke to for help. If I sounded brusque or agitated because I was busy, I could inadvertently treat that widow poorly. I thought of my grandmother and how devastated she was when my grandfather passed away. The realization that I could be short with someone experiencing similar pain hit me hard.
At that moment, I understood that even though I was “just the receptionist,” I was empowered to make a significant difference for people who called our law firm simply by being present, kind, and patient when I answered the phone. I recognized this responsibility was far more important than whatever task I was engaged in when the phone rang. Instead of leaving that meeting with my head down or feeling resentful about being reprimanded, I walked out excited for the next call and the chance to make a difference. Since then, I have never had anyone address my phone skills again. In fact, I’ve gone on to lead training programs on how to connect with clients when answering the phone.
We’ve all found ourselves on both sides of uncomfortable conversations, whether professionally or personally. Often, our discomfort causes us to rush through these discussions, rendering them as quick and emotionless as possible. However, the cornerstone of success and self-peace is the ability to engage in empowering conversations. An empowering conversation leaves the other person feeling uplifted, igniting a lasting motivation within them. When you rush through a challenging conversation, you often end up repeating the same discussion because it fails to resonate or empower the other person.
Having empowering conversations can be broken down into eight essential keys. One of the simplest yet most impactful keys is “Time and Place.” Many conversations go awry simply because we overlook the importance of timing and location. For example, don’t initiate a tough conversation with a co-worker who only has ten minutes before they need to leave work. They won’t have enough time to focus on what you’re saying and will be preoccupied with their impending obligations. Similarly, avoid having a serious discussion about your overloaded workload with your boss just before he heads into a meeting with a major client. Not only does he lack the time for such a talk, but it also distracts him from an important commitment.
When you do have your empowering conversation, be mindful of the ‘place.’ Let the receptionist know to hold all calls and close the door so you can speak comfortably without interruptions. Alternatively, step out of the office and meet at a quiet location, like Starbucks, to eliminate distractions from ringing phones and email notifications. Taking the time to select the right environment for an honest, empowering conversation can yield surprising results.
If you’re ready to start having empowering conversations but aren’t sure where to begin, join us for our free webinar, “What Your Support Team Needs to Know to Help You Succeed,” on September 28th from 11 AM to noon EST. To register, email info@hiringandempowering.com.
Explore our free resources on our website, fire.h50.us/~hrgnmpwr/dev2/, for more tips on fostering empowering conversations that lead to meaningful connections.
Champions of your continued success,
Molly and Laney
